A whole new world

Well....hello there...

2010-10-21T20:42:00.001-07:00

So, yet again, it has been ages since I have blogged. I feel like once again I have changed in so many ways since my last post. It has been a trying, yet rewarding and wonderful few months to say the least. In my last entry, I blogged briefly about the Horatio Alger Association and my excitement for the upcoming summit. To say the least, the summit was just as amazing as the scholarship conference, this time for different reasons.

In the months since my last blog many things had happened. The most wonderful thing that happened was meeting my fabulous boyfriend D and adding his wonderful son to our new little family (Yeah, perhaps all those details will come later... anyways...). Now, things have been very challenging. Soon after I moved, I developed a pretty hefty case of shingles-stress related. There were two months of painful recovery, and I got the flu on the tail end. My body was wrecked. Now, my wonderful new apartment turns out not so wonderful. My storage was robbed (lost quite a bit), someone tried to break in when I was home, the front door got shot up in a domestic dispute which led to anxiety issues for my baby girl, and well it's bordering some areas with some pretty heavy gang activity. Welcome to betters homes and gardens folks. Anyhoo.... on with the show.

I work in one of the 25 most dangerous neighborhoods in the United States. So let's add shootings, drug activity, robberies, and useless criminal activities to my list of worries on top of working with my small group of transitional residents. I started to feel the burnout coming on. Let switch shifts and add a few resident crisis to the list also. About the time a resident shows me his slit wrists and I'm full blown occupational burnout.... life burnout. My morale is at an all time low and I am feeling like I am in this well of darkness.

Now, this whole time I am afloat because of A. a wonderfully supportive mother and B. my boyfriend who actually gets me..... like full on gets me and how I tick. At this point, it time for the alumni summit and here is me.... blahhhhhhhhhhh. I go to the summit in Philadelphia after dropping the kids at grandma's and the energy is intense. I am chatting and reconnecting and OMG there is that magic. D gets it now... but the other alumni really get it. That original magic that always kept us going... always believing in our potential.... And I start to get my phenomenal woman attitude back. It feels like a total 180. And everyone sees it when I come back. I hear Wow! Look at you! You feel better... you needed whatever you just did. Yes. Yes I did. More to come in the next blog.

Single Mom?

2010-02-05T01:31:00.000-08:00

Okay, so guess my life is transitioning way more than I ever imagined at this point. I didn't think when I started this blog at the end of school I would be going.... Well, my friends (If anyone ever looks at this damn thing), I am doing me the best way I know how at this point. And that is going at it as a single mom. I'm not going to broadcast what happened. Maybe one day I might talk about it, but this will be better for all involved. Call me crazy, but I'm not all about broadcasting every intimate moment in my life. I'll tell you some, if you want to know more, you can talk to me in person.

Got my own apartment that I'm moving into later this month. Love it! Dishwasher and a walk-in closet-Plus a washer and dryer in building. Talk about Heaven compared to where I am living now. Staying in Cincinnati because I don't want to leave my job. Will be starting my masters degree online once I settle in. Signed up to help with new scholars in the Horatio Alger National Scholars program. I loved being a scholar, but I really love being an alumni and being able to give back. Horatio Alger staff, members, and alumni were always there when I needed them the most. Always pushing me to keep going forward, always giving that extra boost of confidence when I felt I had nothing left. My fellow scholars still do that for me today. 5 years later and the bonds I made at that conference are still strong, still amazing, and still inspiring. I can't wait for the alumni conference to be able to see them all face to face again.

So mind altering blogs are on hold for now. I have some mind altering of my own to do, some healing, some thinking, some motivating, and some achieving to continue doing. And some love and light to keep on giving.

All my love!
Heather

Moving along now....

2009-12-02T02:45:00.000-08:00

I'm pondering a much larger mind altering blog during my long nights here in Over the Rhine. I've been doing a lot of watching, a lot of thinking, and in turn, a lot of healing. Still transitioning over here, but it's much better mentally than the last big life transition I had. No, it's not flawless. The world is full of flaws. But I think I am finally starting to believe in my own potential- mentally, physically, spiritually, artistically and professionally. I miss my dear friends at school who always inspire a path of deeper thought in my day to day life. (PS That means we must all have a coffee date very soon). I feel like I am making a movement into something very life-sustaining for me. In turn, if it will be good for me, it will be good for my family too. You are right. This isn't that mind altering. I didn't say I was writing it tonight. I have paperwork to do after all. Perhaps tomorrow. =)

Taking up for women everywhere!

2009-04-11T15:00:00.000-07:00

http://www.red-alerts.com/un-american-activities/the-new-misogyny-tila-tequila-called-whore-for-doing-charity-work/

I am loving this article. I have recently become very comfortable in my feminist skin. I love the opinons expressed in this article. Oh, and yes, I loooooooove Tila. I do. As much as people try to call her fake, I feel there is something very real about her. I might put my finger on it one day. BTW... Perez Hilton, stop calling people whores. Way to make yourself look like a real fucking ass.

BTW. Thank you Rob Taylor for taking a stand for women. Men like you help me believe that women might have more equality by the time my baby is my age!

New blog for a new journey!

2009-04-10T13:53:00.000-07:00

So my friend Nate inspired my move to a new blog. He is probably like "WTF how?" Well, shut up Nate, I'm getting there.

He said the other day "You are the same person you were then, but now you make better decisions." Wow, it hit me. It's transition time for me again. A time when I mentally go through my life and take inventory. How do I feel about me? How do I feel about history? What still hurts to my core? What can I now let go of? What can I now work on?

I feel very stable in my position right now, despite the leap I am about to take. I have some decisions to make about my near future, I have some research to do also. I have learned so much in the past four years. I've grown a lot also. I am the same person I used to be, but I do make better decisions. I channel my emotions with more focus. I am slower to anger. I have much more patience. The world no longer revolves around me, but my larger social network of friends and family. I have learned to trust those who need and deserve it. I have learned to forgive and I have also learned to move on.

There is still much more to learn. There are still things that chill me to my core. I still have horrible nightmares at night that I cannot decipher, but during the day they fall between the cracks of my responsibilities.

So this is a new blog. For the new old me.